More Americans Follow President’s Lead…Spend Money They Don’t Have.

(the J/K Press)

            Fred Monroe of Reading Pennsylvania considers himself a patriot.  Fred, a retired automobile salesman, says that he had to “scrimp and save for everything [he’s] ever had.”  But thanks to President Obama, Fred is part of a growing group of Americans experiencing fulfillment of the pursuit of happiness promised by the Declaration of Independence. (Editor’s note: the Declaration of Independence may or may not be a legally binding document.) 

            Fred is living life like he only could have dreamed it two years ago, because Fred now has everything he ever could have dreamed of. 

“You see this?” Fred indicates a yellow Volkswagen Beetle parked in his driveway, “I always wanted a gold car, and thanks to President Obama, I finally found the courage to reach for my dream and get those gold bricks welded onto this car”.

            You may be asking yourself how Fred, and so many other retiree’s like him, are able to afford something as extravagant as a solid gold car.  The answer is simple.  These great Americans took a page from the Obama administrations handbook, and are spending money that they don’t actually have.

            “The way I see it,” says Florence Turner of Orlando Florida, “I’ll be dead soon anyway, so why should I care about how much I spend now, I’ll never need to pay it back.  I’ll just let my children and grandchildren figure it out after I’ve departed.”

            Indeed, this attitude is shared by many retiree’s who consider it their duty to spend spend spend with little regard for debt incurred.

            “If you think about it” Said Fred, “it’s really a patriot thing to do.  I mean, the President’s solution to our economic crisis is to spend literally trillions of dollars, with no real plan to pay it back, and I just feel that it would be shirking my duty as an American if I didn’t do my damndest to spend right along with him.  So yeah, I’m potentially leaving my kids with mountains of debt, but think of all those guys working in the solid gold car factories-they need those jobs.

Obama reveals new stimulus plan.

President elect Obama was in Congress today to again petition them to approve a multi-trillion dollar plan to revitalize the economy.  The plan presented today offered several key changes to Obama’s earlier plan of massive infrastructure programs in an effort to ease the minds of some of Obama’s fellow Democratic Congressmen and women who has taken issue with the proposal.

The most important of these changes is Obama’s plan to begin to print a new currency to use to fund these projects.  The bills, which will be printed in black and white and feature portraits of such notable Americans as Louis Faracon, Al Sharpton, and New Orleans mayor Ray Nagin, will be used to fund Obama’s impressive three trillion dollar proposal.

The currency, which is called obama-bucks, offers both the President Elect and his detractors in Congress a workable solution to the staggering price tag of Obama’s proposed projects, and the uncontrollable need of Congress to spend billions on pork.

(Outgoing President George Bush weighed in on the crisis earlier this week by offering Congress all the pork they needed from a rancher friend of his in Texas.)

Critics have very little negative to say about the proposed obama-bucks plan-they see it as a step in the right direction by the President Elect and further claim to be shocked should this, or any other plan Obama should formulate, ever, ever fail.